A Time and A Page For All

Hello and thanks for stopping by.

Last week I posted the first four pages of my current work-in-progress, The Cautioner's Tale, and asked a few specific questions about what I might do to improve it. I also shared one of the pictures and the same questions with a couple of Facebook writers' groups, along with a link to last week's post where they could see all four pages. The response was far better than I'd hoped, particularly in the Fiction Writing group. I received many comments, Likes, and emails that were very encouraging. I had some great conversations with a number of people, and I'm grateful for all of it.

This week, I'd like to show a couple of changes I've made based on the feedback I received last week. 

Some readers suggested I lose the poem on the first page. Why did I need it, after all? I explained it was meant as a prologue to set the tone for the remainder of the story. Another suggested I simply move it further back in the book. The overall consensus, though, was to keep the poem right where it is. So, I did, but the page itself did not go unchanged.

One observant reader pointed out the inconsistent drop shadows on this page, saying some were too deep and others not deep enough. This is one of the many small details I try to keep an eye on during final edits. All of these pages have multiple layers as I'm building them in Photoshop (dozens, usually), so it can be difficult to keep everything in its place and in tune with what's around it.  I can't even begin to say how great it was to have another pair of eyes focused on the details!

Next, another especially helpful reader told me that the third page was confusing because it had multiple items demanding attention. Here is the original page:

That observation made me remember my own Rule of Distractions: unless [an object] pertains directly to the story at that moment, it's just a distraction and needs to go.  Of course, that's a little harder in a book like The Cautioner's Tale where the entire story is told via an over-packed journal, but it still applies. None of the objects I've included is without the purpose of moving the story forward, but there's a time and a page for all.

So here is the new page with an obvious focus and minimal distractions:

AND...I gained an opportunity to let Mary mention her perspective (on the green envelope) at the outset. I think this helps the reader understand her position a little better. (Don't tell the Drop Shadow Guy, but I think the envelope's shadow is a little off...)

So, as you can see, The Cautioner's Tale really is a work-in-progress, and this week, it was a team effort. To everyone who responded to last week's post, thank you so much!  We'll do this again soon, I promise.